My parents have never been proud of me my whole life. Be it whether I actually get good grades for my exams, open up my own online/physical biz, earn my own money or even doing something really really well etc, they were never proud.

Throughout my entire life, I've been trying to find something to accomplish/do which will hopefully, be able to make my parents acknowledge me for who i am, and also be proud of me.

People, or even strangers have always thought that I'm the popular kid in class/popular guy blabla and stuff but it's all not true! On the contrary, I've always been the underdog throughout my entire life. I've been bullied and teased since young and I've rarely stood up for myself. Thinking that it'll all pass and so, I continue on with my life and just focus on myself and being happy. 

You know, it's really not easy being me. Whenever I've people coming up to me and telling me that they're jealous of the life I've been living, all that goes through in my mind is - What do they know? Do they know what i've gone through, i doubt so. Haha.. but if you guys are interested in my life, I'll explain short stories of it on my upcoming 'draw my life' video. 

Moving on, recently, I've challenged myself and actually went ahead to try and do something which would push myself to another level. It's something which would actually mean the world to me. 

Why? Well, mainly because this is actually an opportunity which doesn't come often in a lifetime and secondly, it is my chance to prove myself and do something which I think would make my parents be proud of me. I'm dying for the acknowledgement... I really, really do. 

Yeah, I know that in life, everything is like a game of probability, it involves luck and fate so the chances of me being able to go through the 'thing' is something I can't have control of. But what I can't believe, was my actions and the things I've done that actually affected my chances in that "thing". I'm not gonna elaborate much but ... yeah. 

Till now, I still think that I've not said anything wrong, neither should I apologize as all I really did was to stand up for myself. However, I should not have brought it online. I really really felt bad and want to apologize to the people who've seen what I wrote and also, my managers (for implicating them).

I know that I've actually ruined my own life and i know that my actions has probably already affected my chances in that 'thing'. There's nothing I can actually do about it but to leave it all up to fate.

As of now, what I know I can do. Is to apologize for my actions.

Through this, I've learnt a whole lot of things. Yes, I've made mistakes and I'm really hating myself for making it now. But after all, I'm only human. I hope that everyone (the people involved or have seen it) will forgive me and give me a chance to prove to you guys that I will become an even better person.

I hope that you guys will feel more personal and "upclose" with me now as I don't really reveal much of my emotions and personal thoughts online. I always have a hard time phrasing my thoughts into words. Maybe you guys don't even understand what I've been writing throughout this entire post LOL. Right right right? hahaha

But in any case, my message for you guys is to 

Stand up for yourself, don't let anyone put you down. 
Know when to put down your ego, apologize for the mistakes you've done and always change for the better.

NOW MOVING ON, let's continue with the usual tyler lifestyle-blogpost :)

Loving the texture and softness of my hair and it's all thanks to salon vim :D Will be going back to the salon this week to do my hair again.

Went out on the 23rd of may to meet a friend (irwin) for a movie and dinner session. YEAHHH this post is really late but I wanna clear it before I move on to my BKK posts. Some shots before I moved off

Had early dinner with Irwin at the Saizeriya's newly opened branch at The Grand Cathay :)

Ordered my favourite cold shrimp salad as usual. What I really really love about saizeriya, is its quality food which comes at really cheap prices.

My clam pasta which was flooded with loads and loads of clams. Only $4.99~

Irwin's fish something lol

Caught the great gatsby with irwin afterwards.

I personally think that The Great Gatsby was a really really beautiful movie. However, I didn't understand majority of the movie as I didn't read the book prior to the movie and the plot in the movie was kinda confusing for me. Sooo yup, other than that, POOR GATSBY T_T Can I date a female version of him who's living in this era? I'LL GIVE YOU MY HEART AND SOUL hahahah.

Okay moving on, I had supper with irwin at the old hong kong cafe near I12 afterwards

Old Hong Kong Tea House (Katong Village)

86 East Coast Road
#01-09/10 Katong Village
Tel: 63451932

Had a couple of light soups and food to end the day :)

 Irwin's first custard bun!

And I'm here to nag at you guys again LOL. Please don't forget to vote for me on my TNGY competition thingy :D Details on


  1. Are you going to post your preloaded shirt for sale? ☻ you forgotten about it. ☹☹☹☹

  2. Replies
    1. I've actually prepared the draft post for the items already! However, there's some problems with my ibanking sooo i'll have to wait till i can fix it before I actually sell my preloved items. Sorry T_T

  3. Hi there hikaru! Regarding about your post with acknowledgement , I feel that it's more like wanting praises? I've been in the same situations as you just that I'm hell of a more ugly :p anyways , sometimes some parents are not that good at expressing their feelings as you might expect (especially showering love to your children) , but you may never know if your parents are praising you and boasting about you behind your back to your relatives (E.g Mom: WAHh my son modeling and getting good grades lehh ) haha yeaa. So anyways , just continue doing whatever you do best and strive to your goal and make your parents even more proud !
    All the best , will be continuing to root for you (:
    -Ze Qin (Male 18).